


Past Lives

by Leloi



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Dreams, M/M, PTSD, Past Lives, Reincarnation, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 13:58:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/966746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leloi/pseuds/Leloi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John dreams about another lifetime in an age when his love would be criminal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past Lives

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to AFFdotNet April 2011.
> 
> It was one of a few I wrote where the present incarnations are haunted by past incarnations... I also like the theme that Sherlock and John are descendents of their past selves. And if you must know my favorite Victorian Era Sherlock is Jeremy Brett.

An older man with slicked back dark hair and old fashioned clothing looked back over his shoulder. “Watson…” The man gave a small smile and for a moment he seemed very familiar. Grey eyes studied him and yes he knew the name. 

“Sherlock?” But that wasn’t right, was it? Sherlock was younger with unruly dark curls. There was a resemblance but this man wasn’t his Sherlock.

The man looked thoughtful for a moment. “You’ve never called me by my Christian name before. You really must be unwell.”

“No… you’re different than my Sherlock. He is younger… and wilder.”

The other Sherlock looked saddened. “I’ve missed your company my friend. Please don’t forget, Watson, that I…”

“Watson! Oh god Watson’s been hit!” The dreamscape changed and John was aware for the first time that he was dreaming. Why else would he think of Sherlock and experience the most painful moment of his life within moments of each other? Sherlock came after the bullet in his shoulder. 

Opening his eyes he saw the chaos of war and heard his companions crying out for a medic. But the medic was down, bleeding out and crying in pain.

“Watson! Watson! John!” Closing his eyes the voices washed over him and the pain faded.

“Watson…” The other Sherlock from another time stood over him with a flask of brandy in his hand. “I’m afraid I gave you quite the shock. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” The look in his eyes was full of fear, concern, hope… love? When had he ever known Sherlock to look at him in love? But this man before him was feeling it. There was so much love in his eyes. And he knew this Sherlock’s Watson was blind to it.

“You’re not my Sherlock…”

“Of course I am.” The older Sherlock looked confused, desperate. “I am yours. I always will be.”

“John. John…” It seemed his eyes were clear again and he saw Sherlock, his Sherlock turn around with one of his rare smiles. “Wake up, John. You’re having a nightmare.”

John gasped and struggled to open his eyes, trying to pull out of his dreamscape. 

“John?” 

His body was being rocked, rolled. Finally John gained control and opened his eyes, looking up at a rather concerned Sherlock… his Sherlock. “It’s you…”

“Of course it’s me. You were screaming.” 

John looked around his darkened bedroom. The faint light of the moon entered the window and seemed to shine off Sherlock’s pale skin. The detective sat upon the edge of the bed, staring down at his friend with concern. “I saw you… another you.”

“And that gave you a nightmare?” Sherlock asked quietly, looking unsure.

“No… there were flashbacks from being shot but there was other stuff mixed in. It was you from another century… and I think he was in love with me.” John mumbled.

Sherlock took a deep breath and sat up straighter. “Another me was in love with you?”

Realizing just how bad that sounded, John tried to laugh it off. “Funny, isn’t it?”

“Not very.” Sherlock’s reply was quick.

“I’m sorry. But that’s what I saw. He was concerned that he gave me a shock and he looked at me… I mean really looked at me and that’s what I saw. No one has ever looked at me like that.” John found himself trembling at the thought. “I felt like… my other self was clueless as to his love and it hurt him. But I could see it… plain as day. He loved me.”

Sherlock scratched his forehead between the eyebrows, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “John…” He stated carefully. “I’m not sure what to tell you.”

“Do you believe in past lives, Sherlock?”

“There’s no scientific evidence for it.” Sherlock replied. 

“There are studies being done though… many people believe in reincarnation.”

“You want me to believe that you were with another guy named Sherlock Holmes? And that he was secretly in love with you?” Sherlock looked amused.

“Stranger things have happened.”

“As it happens there is a Sherlock in my family tree… a great great uncle of some sort. From what I understand he never married but there was a child. I am a descendent of his brother, Mycroft whom my brother is named for. They lived sometime around the turn of the 19th century.”

“Did he have a John Watson?”

Sherlock shrugged. “I hear he was a little insane… at least that’s what Mycroft is fond of telling me. I think there was a live in doctor for just about all of his life.” Looking thoughtful, Sherlock tried to dredge up his family history. “The child belonged to the doctor who had married into the family but his wife… my great great aunt died. Mycroft could tell you more. He’s the keeper of the family record. I only know a little about my uncle because I have his name and I was teased about it.” 

John listened, fascinated. 

“Are you alright to go back to bed?” Sherlock queried. 

“Yeah… I think so. You gave me something to think about.”

“You think my uncle and his doctor were lovers?”

“No… at least in my dream it was one sided. Although it is rather sad…”

“Is it?” 

“To have the one you love never knowing how you felt... Sherlock loved John. And now I’m stuck with it… thinking about a pair that probably never existed. I feel bad for Sherlock.”

“Don’t feel bad for Sherlock.” Sherlock replied. “He and his doctor lived together until the end.” Silently Sherlock got up from the bed.

John took the pale, cool hand, holding it and looking up at Sherlock. “He was mine. He told me that he was mine and always would be. I believe him.” John stared up at the one above him, searching for answers in his eyes. Are you mine? He wondered.

Sherlock looked down at John, features paled in the moonlight and sat back down with him. “What are you asking me, John?”

John leaned in close and carefully, cautiously brushed his lips against Sherlock’s. A feeling of giddiness welled up through his stomach and down his spine at the sensation of lips against his. Delicately he pulled away, his lips breaking their puckered seal with a small kissing sound, an audible indication of the kiss. Opening his eyes he stared at Sherlock.

Sherlock’s eyes were closed and he seemed frozen in his spot, barely breathing.

John leaned in again and gently kissed the corner of Sherlock’s mouth, his lips catching Sherlock’s lower lip. His tongue escaped to lightly taste the lip.

It seemed Sherlock broke, his lips moving to capture John’s with a feral grunt. Eagerly his tongue pushed in and his body pressed John back down upon the bed as he kissed. Fingers desperately sought out flesh beneath John’s pajamas.

“Are you still mine?” John managed between Sherlock’s hungry kisses.

Sherlock grunted in response, undressing John so his mouth could taste the delicious skin of the soldier below him.

“Are you?” John begged.

Sitting up suddenly, Sherlock began to undress, tossed his clothes aside and managed to remove the remainder of John’s. “Oh bloody hell, John… don’t ask! Deduce!” Sherlock reached for John’s hand and placed it on his groin. “Ask me again if I’m yours.”

John moaned in delight, squeezing Sherlock gently. Really he was a bit overwhelmed by Sherlock’s reaction to the kiss but it had been so long since his last pleasurable release that he just didn’t care. Plus it was with someone he really wanted to be with. The nightmare part of the dream was fading away with each desperate thrust. There was no penetration yet, just two bodies rubbing together, seeking a climax. “Inside of me…please?” John whispered desperately into Sherlock’s ear.

“I can’t… too close.” Sherlock replied, grinding hard. “Next time…” His eyes closed and he arched his back, crying out in surprise at the sensation that tore through his body.  


John ached and writhed, feeling the power of the man on top of him. His own throbs soon joined Sherlock’s and he stared up at the one above him. His own climax was silent. 

Sherlock collapsed above him, moving his hips just a little bit to milk out the sensation. “You were saying, John?”

“I sure hope you like me as much as I like you… Sherlock Holmes. I’m not one for one night stands.”

“Deduce you, idiot!” Sherlock gently kissed John’s lips. “Have you ever known me to have sex with anyone even though there have been plenty interested in me?”

“No…” John replied carefully.

“So…?”

“Only with me?”

With a gently chuckle Sherlock kissed again. “Because I’m…?”

”Yours. Er… mine.” John whispered.

Sherlock kissed his forehead and settled against him in the bed. “No more nightmares.”

^.~

The other Sherlock Holmes gave Watson a tired, sad look. “Never forget that I’m yours, Watson. I’m yours forever.”

“I know…” Watson stated quietly with some embarrassment. 

“Papa Lock…” young James Watson cried, reaching out for Holmes. “Tell me a story about one of your adventures!”

“Your father is better at that than I am.” Holmes replied.

“But I like it when YOU tell it!” James grinned up at his other father figure.

Holmes nodded. “Fine then… how about the Adventure of the Giant Rat of Sumatra?”

“Not that one! Our James is not ready to hear that one!” Watson chuckled, feeling less embarrassed. 

“Tell me anyway!” James beamed.

Holmes obeyed.

\--Fini

**Author's Note:**

> So... how does this universe work? John Watson is the descendant of James Watson... Sherlock is the descendant of Mycroft Holmes. The original Sherlock Holmes was an invert and loved his doctor, John Watson, but Watson was a proper Victorian Era man and married Holmes' sister instead. She died while Holmes was on his hiatus, leaving him alone to care for their son James. When Holmes returned he helped Watson raise his nephew.
> 
> I started this little idea in an unpublished Bones (TV series) crossover where two skeletons are found in the remains of a London bathhouse from the Victorian Era. Modern day Sherlock is related to one of the skeletons (past Sherlock being the brother of his ancestor) and modern John is related to both (past John being his ancestor and marrying into the Holmes family to create James Watson, his Great Grandfather). But I never finished it. Suffice to say, Hodgins (one of the characters in Bones) was impressed he was meeting the grandsons of the legendary Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.


End file.
